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Sacred Companions: The Gift of Spiritual Friendship & Direction
Download Ebook Sacred Companions: The Gift of Spiritual Friendship & Direction
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Review
"This book--written for those who see life as a spiritual journey--seamlessly blends a wise understanding of human nature, Christian spirituality and Protestant theology into a work that will help us all in our quest to know and experience God."--Mark R. McMinn, Rech Professor of Psychology, Wheaton College"Benner's book represents a vital attempt to stoke the fire of spirit in order to grow in Christian faith."--Publishers Weekly"In the journey to the heart, we are made to look at and to walk with one another. We are incapable of seeing our own self, except in the eyes of a soul mate and with the direction of a personal guide. According to the ancient wisdom of the desert fathers, we all resemble precious stones that constitute community. David Benner offers a refreshing and refined concept of spiritual mentoring, showing us how these stones may be transformed by being softened from their raw sharpness to a constructive roundness through sacred conversation and companionship. Easy to read yet profoundly insightful, almost natural in its nurturing approach, this book introduces readers to the gradual process of genuine presence in spiritual friendship, partnership, marriage and small groups."--John Chryssavgis, Professor of Theology, Holy Cross School of Theology, and author of Soul Mending: The Art of Spiritual Direction"Readers of this book by David Benner will, I predict, feel the fresh wind of the Spirit blowing into and through their souls. They will be better equipped to join the revolution of leaving the 'old way' behind, the way of living comfortably in this world. And they will more deeply yearn to live in the 'new way' of seeking God and living for him in this disappointing world until they wake up in the next one, where eternal satisfaction is guaranteed."--Larry Crabb, from the foreword"Read, apply and reflect on David Benner's book, and you could expand your spiritual understanding, strengthen your prayer life, grow in your walk with God, deepen your friendships and clarify your knowledge of spiritual direction. The book could become a classic. It continues to impact me, and I recommend it enthusiastically to you."--Gary R. Collins, Ph.D., author of Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide and Christian Coaching"David G. Benner is a pioneer in the movement to blend insights from psychology with the wisdom of Christian spirituality. His latest work, Sacred Companions, is further evidence for the importance of his voice for those who desire to better understand soul care and transformation. This book has both substance and accessibility. It will inspire the reader's own spiritual journey while simultaneously providing instruction on how to be a spiritual friend and director for others. Perhaps the greatest gift this book provides is its inviting portraits of the process of spiritual friendship and direction. I believe Sacred Companions will be around for a long, long time."--Gary W. Moon, Vice President, Psychological Studies Institute, director, Charlie Shedd Institute for Clinical Theology"I eagerly await every one of Dr. Benner's books. This one has not disappointed me. He has produced a thorough and practical guide on one of the most important spiritual topics of our day. A landmark book which I am delighted to recommend highly."--Rev. Selwyn Hughes, Founder and Director, Crusade for World Revival"Unfettered from any particular church tradition, and uncluttered from theological or psychological jargons, David Benner has written with such elegance and clarity on the deep and profound subject of spiritual friendship and direction. I believe this book would help the church worldwide reclaim and redeem its birthright--the ministry of the care of souls."--Simon Yiu-Chuen Lee, Associate Professor, and Director of the Pastoral Institute, Alliance Bible Seminary, Hong Kong"In an increasingly consumer-driven and materialistic world, the human longing for love and meaning in life cries out for satisfaction. David Benner's book is timely in introducing a way to fill that longing. Using his extensive experience in psychology and counseling, and the rich tradition of Christian spirituality, Benner skillfully weaves together various ways of developing spiritual friendships and using such relationships in one-to-one encounters, group settings and marriage, to bring about healing, transformation and growth. Benner's warm, relational and practical approach is very insightful and helpful. This book is an important contribution to a growing discussion on bringing together spirituality and psychology, spiritual direction and counseling, and holiness and wholeness."--Bishop Dr. Robert Solomon, The Methodist Church in Singapore"A wise and winsome guide for all who are serious about seeking and cultivating spiritual direction and its friendships on life's journey. Who better to trust than a writer whose wife is his closest companion!"--James M. Houston, emeritus professor of spiritual theology, Regent College
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About the Author
David G. Benner (PhD, York University) is an internationally known depth psychologist, transformational coach and author whose life passion has been helping people walk the human path in a deeply spiritual way and the spiritual path in a deeply human way. Some of his books include
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Product details
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: IVP Books (July 23, 2004)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 083083270X
ISBN-13: 978-0830832705
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.7 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
47 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#217,797 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I have been reading trying to figure out what Spiritual Direction is all about as I seek out a spiritual director. For David Benner, spiritual direction is mostly about prayer. The Spiritual Director is praying for and helping the person receiving the spiritual direction to pray and connect more fully to God.Benner is a counselor. So he spends some time differentiating Spiritual Direction from counseling."...I am concerned about the predominantly therapeutic face of soul care in our culture's church and society. We have entrusted the care of the inner life of persons to experts who understand their role primarily in problem-solving and therapeutic terms. But therapeutic soul care should not be the model of Christian soul care. Nor should clinically trained professionals be relied on to provide the bulk of such care. While counselors and therapists have an important role to play in restoring wholeness that has been lost, spiritual friends and directors have an equally important role in helping others become all they were intended to be. It is my hope that the predominantly therapeutic face of contemporary Christian soul care will be balanced by an increasingly spiritual one as more Christians offer themselves in relationships of sacred companionship. The care of souls is much too important to be left to clinical professionals."Spiritual Direction is less about `fixing people' than joining with them in a spiritual journey. So Benner presents four different models of spiritual direction. The first is the more traditional one of one formal model of spiritual direction. You have a director and you visit with them about once a month relating your spiritual life and prayer to them and the help guide you in your journey.The second is the spiritual companion. This is more like a deep friendship. It still includes spiritual direction, but it is more mutual direction and there is a relationship that exists beyond the spiritual direction.The third is the small group spiritual direction model. Benner is in favor of this because he believe that one on one spiritual direction will never be able to reach as many people as need spiritual direction. This is different from a traditional small group but probably more comfortable for many because in spite of the differences from a small group, it still feels familiar.The fourth model is marriage as spiritual direction. I am most skeptical about this model. But I can see how it would work for some. Like spiritual companions, the marriage model has a relationship that is far beyond the spiritual direction. Benner and his wife have done this mutually (both seeking direction from the other as different intentional sessions). But currently Benner only seeks direction from his wife and she has a separate spiritual director.Regardless of the method, there are three main goals for spiritual direction. (1) becoming a great lover, (2) becoming whole and holy, and (3) becoming our true self-in-Christ. What impresses me about spiritual direction is that it is a model for spiritual growth that takes seriously growth over a lifetime. It does not require straight line growth or a particular model. Instead it takes seriously the role of community (and the broader church). It is not a model of spiritual growth that is just `me and Jesus against the world'.
This book provides an invaluable introduction to spiritual direction (I'm a newbie). The author and I are both Protestants, which makes it easier for me to understand what he's talking about. Just as the author, I have also found the spirituality as offered by the Protestant tradition to be wonderful, but falls short in attuning to God's presence. The first part, Spiritual Friendship, obviously, is important for the author since he placed it in the beginning, but is not as practical as spiritual direction (part two) in which he provided spiritual direction dialogues. I love part two because it provides ways to help people to be more attuned to God's presence, which address the insufficiency of the Protestant tradition. I also find part three (spiritual direction among small groups) extremely helpful. Due to the popularity of the small group ministry, the suggestions in this book can balance the current situation that is leaned toward cognitive Bible studies.
I am reading this book as it was recommended by our minister for a small group. I do underline and mark key concepts as I read and I have done quite a bit in this book. I like the concepts in this book and the theory of spiritual friendship, but it leaves me feeling a bit unsettled. It seems like such a simple concept, spiritual friendship, but it's actually difficult to achieve, mostly because it requires solitude and stillness in ourselves. I find that not being able to control others makes this friendship almost impossible to find. It brings up more questions than answers for me and I'd like to see specific examples of various scenarios to help us to actually go about finding and developing these spiritual friendships.Overall, I'd recommend this book to small groups or those interested in growing in relationship with others.
I have no desire to become a Spiritual Director but a friend of mine, who is, gave this book to me after a conversation we had about my longing to find others interested in 'going deeper'. I do wish to help other women grow in their faith but most Bible Study groups I've been involved in don't generally move the needle. This book has been a tremendous help to me in understanding my yearn for myself and others. I had to give the book back but not before I bought a copy for myself. I'll be reading it again.
This book is an exceptionally good introduction to the meaning of personal relationships that are called "spiritual friendship" and " spiritual direction". Good spiritual formation doesn't happen well on a purely individual level. It's important to have some trusted person(s) with whom one can discuss just about anything and be vulnerable and open. American Protestant Christianity in particular has been too individualistic for it's own good. The "just me and Jesus" mindset works out little better than "just me" without a third person who is just as committed to life as a spiritual journey being there to observe and help discern the direction of the Holy Spirit in one's life.David Benner does a very good job of clearly describing the qualities and characteristics of spiritual friendship and spiritual direction, how they differ from each other and from other similar relationships like counseling, life coaching, discipleship, etc. and how then can be combined in a small group setting or (even!) within the marriage relationship. I highly recommend this book for those who want a good basic understanding of what it means to be "sacred companions". This is a much needed ministry within the church today. I'm very thankful for the people who have filled this role in my life.
This topic is new to me. I had a cursory knowledge of the benefits of spiritual friendship but didn't realize the depth of possibilities of soul friendship. I look forward to applying this new understanding in a relationship with a Christian friend. It also addresses how to incorporate this type of spiritual friendship in marriage. An insightful read!
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